We all have gone through life when, at some point, we feel left out. We have somehow felt how it is to be alone. When we move to a new school, new job, new city, even when we show up to a party, we try to find a friend we can talk to. Making friends or building relationships is human nature.At PNA, we recognize the importance of social emotional learning. We recognize that some kids may feel left out at school and we are also aware of the harm exclusion can do to a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. Through ACE Club (Academic & Character Enrichment), the topic of inclusion/exclusion was addressed with three goals:
1. Students will learn that exclusion is never OK.
2. Students will be given strategies on what to do when they feel left out.
3. Students will learn that they in charge of themselves. They can shield themselves from getting their feelings hurt.
Kindergarten to 5th grade students were divided intro three multi-age groups. A book about a monster feeling left out called “You’re Not My Friend” was read to the groups. The book led the discussions about how it looks like to exclude someone, how exclusion feels, and what can we do when we feel excluded.
Sometimes children are excluded from friendships because they don’t know how to enter into social situations. So, after the read aloud, students were divided into multi-age small groups. They were given scenarios to act out strategies that will help children begin to learn some of these essential social skills.
The scenarios introduce three skills:
The scenarios introduce three skills:
- “Watch” Children are encouraged to stand back and observe for a minute or two before approaching a new play situation. This will give them time to assess what is going on and how they could fit into the activity.
- “Ask” Children will learn that they don’t have to wait to be invited to an activity or game, but they can’t just barge in. They will learn socially appropriate ways to ask to join.
- “Play” Children need to understand that when they play with others, they can’t always do whatever they want. They will need to make compromises and listen to others.
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The next activity was “Find a Friend Bingo” where students had to find someone that has the opposite preference as them. This activity helps students realize that a friend doesn’t always have to be someone who has the same interests as you. A friend can be someone who is different from you.
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Last but not the least, students were asked to fill out “The Hurt Feelings Shield”. The activity gave students some things they have to remember to defend themselves against words or actions that hurt them. Teaching children how to manage their own hurt feelings will empower then as they experience situations such as being left out.
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Sometimes people say or do things that might hurt your child’s feelings. When that happens, teach your child to imagine he or she is a knight that has a shield to defend himself or herself from people’s hurtful words or actions.
